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Channel: Blogcritics » Matt Paprocki
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Xbox 360 Review: Aliens: Colonial Marines

Corporal Christopher Winter is in a bad place. Escaping from the webbing that restrained him, he splashes into the sewers weaponless, Xenomorphs all around. Here in their underground territory, they...

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PlayStation Vita Review: MLB 13: The Show

Last year, MLB: The Show’s Vita debut had no presentation. This year, it… well, it has some. In The Show ’12, a home run–even a grand slam–would simply cycle into the next batter sans fanfare. With a...

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Xbox 360 Review: MUD: FIM Motocross World Championship

If you actually drank the number of energy drinks your character is required to in order to pass the world tour of MUD, you would be dead. The inordinate amount of sugary, caffeinated sweetness is...

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Nintendo 3DS Review: Castlevania: Lords of Shadow – Mirror of Fate

In three parts, the twisting saga of the Belmont family sweeps through a derelict castle, inhabited by only the undead or mythical beings. Tradition holds true to the Belmont legacy: A whip solves...

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Nintendo 3DS Review: Naruto: Powerful Shippuden

For a non-Naruto fan, you will walk away from Powerful Shippuden with this: Naruto hates forest animals. Snakes, birds, and wolves; this guy would tear through the world of Bambi with his ninja skills...

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Wii U Review: Lego City Undercover

Lego City Undercover opens with Chase McCain staring down his former home, sights of beaches, parties, and economic success. In the background, the 1983 pop hit “Walking on Sunshine” springs the...

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PlayStation 3 Review: Army of Two: The Devil’s Cartel

Esteban Bautista, a sickening drug smuggler with a penchant for kidnapping, murder, and control, exudes selfish cool. His mansion sits under the hot sun of Mexico, and unbeknownst to him, Bautista’s...

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PlayStation 3 Review: WRC: FIA World Rally Championship 3

A loading screen in WRC 3 sports a quote, a jibe on more traditional race types. “Track drivers see the same corner thousands of times, rally drivers see a thousand corners one time.” True, in its...

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Nintendo 3DS Review: Heavy Fire – The Chosen Few

Choking on its own mediocre visuals and limp gunplay, the revolting Heavy Fire: The Chosen Few signals the cliff face drop-off point for punishingly stupid military shooters. As a society, we should...

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Nintendo Wii U Review: ‘Game & Wario’

Wario’s plan to scrape together millions involves videogame development software crafted for Game & Wario’s cartoonishly kitsch faux-Wii U. Wario’s concoction never acknowledges NPD hardware sales,...

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Nintendo 3DS Review: ‘Project X Zone’

Perpetually stuck in the eighth circle of exposition (and the fifth of character introductions), Project X Zone signals fan service saturation galore, plodding out text to explain how Street Fighter’s...

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PlayStation 3 Review: ‘Payday 2′

How much is the life of a police officer worth? Nothing to Payday 2. In the title, people casually browsing jewelry stores or honing in on colorful mall sale signs are costly, $2,000 each if they...

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Xbox 360 Review: ‘Madden NFL 25′

Madden 93 would send a rogue ambulance barging onto the field to reach injured athletes, running over stray players in the process. Modern NFL mandates disallow realism bending and misguided humor, and...

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Xbox 360 Review: ‘Armored Core: Verdict Day’

From Software’s “little mech series that could” offers up its 15th total entry, inching ever closer back to the magic they discovered in early Xbox 360 exclusive Chromehounds. Here, three worldwide...

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PlayStation 3 Review: ‘Beyond Two Souls’

In Beyond Two Souls, Aiden is a supernatural entity, linked to Jodie Holmes ever since her circumstantial birth inside of a government facility. An unseen light, Aiden is systemic to Jodie and her...

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PlayStation 3 Review: ‘Battlefield 4′

Recker is impressively silent as Battlefield 4′s campaign protagonist. Most soldiers would gasp in fear as their jeep faced down a missile firing helicopter. Not Recker. But, maybe Recker knows there...

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Nintendo 3DS Review: ‘Sonic Lost World’

Spider-Man web swings. Hulk smashes. Sonic? He runs, born under the idea of speed and marketed under the moniker of Blast Processing. Sonic Lost World necessitates an assigned button for full sprint....

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PlayStation 3 Review: ‘Call of Duty: Ghosts’

Sylvester Stallone began his action career as a sullen John Rambo, a traumatically disturbed Vietnam veteran unleashing a torrent of bloodshed against ruthless townsfolk. Two films later, he was...

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Nintendo 3DS Review: ‘Power Rangers MegaForce’

Tokusatsu is dying. The art of creating miniature cities besieged by rubber suited heathens is being dismissed by images generated on computers. That distinctive Japanese craft, which birthed Power...

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PlayStation 4 Review: ‘Madden 25′

EA’s revenue at the end of the previous financial quarter was near $1 billion. A fictionalized estimate says $100 of that was spent on Madden 25 next gen. We were promised history would not repeat...

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